Serba Salah

I got a few messages today. It came from my friend of mine. Suddenly she told that i was a bit arrogant to her. I don't know why. But i think that was a HARSH ACCUSATION!

Yup,i admit that i a bit lone-ranger for a month and the reason of doing that just because i think i need a new fresh air and environment and social clique which i don't have before.Plus, i really have to really strict to my financial as not much money i have and by getting alone and keep away from joining them, i feel like i could save some budget until the end of this semester and for the stuff that i admired the most.

So, the problems is my former just don't understand i need to gather up with other guys and doing some male stuff. Relaxing at mamak'stall, playing futsal or badminton, chit-chat bout the thing that the girl won't discussed. Furthermore, i feel a bit terrible when i have to stay and stick with them all the time even for accompanying them including when buying those girl's stuff. How can you imagine that?

For what reason for a men getting tied with those activities? I know it was truly misunderstanding and there no ways of out of this except with a true and clear explanation of me. But, i choose to let it be...yup, just keep them bear in their mind that i was the wrongdoer.

I know i'm a bit depressed and disappointed as i don't have any bad feeling or negative perception towards everything that occurred around us and just accept that as a matter of time. Sooner or latter, we will be just fine. But, in the end, now they have just put the "IGNORANCE SIGN" ' towards me. Haha. i just can laugh, maybe i'm too sad. It's their right and it's ok for me. Nothing much i can do. Just live my life again.

I know i going to be lonely and had a bit tough life after this. Get kicked out and more embarrassment. More harder and tougher. Don' know i will get stronger and more determined by labeled them as my new enemy. Not enemy anyway, just another person that i need to confront everyday and keeping my mind onhow to get winning it.

They are not my enemy, that i had to do just to keep me SURVIVE till the end. Sorry, i don't kill a friend or enemy. I just keep forgive and forget them and go on with my world.

Ya Allah, forgive me for what i done. I'm a sinful after all. Let us be like before. Give us the success and your Redho.