Jun 29, 2012

A Good Lesson.

Just as harsh as it go but i think that a good lesson for. I got it. Nothing to cry on.

I need to wake up and do better next time. Failure is just a good teacher to me. Friend? i hope there were many? but i just not dare to share the problems with them, Just with the trusted friends.only

Jun 22, 2012

What Make You Happy?

"What make you happy?"


The task for today is to list up all the things that will make you happy. I mean not to specific but not to general.e.g By wearing XXY Jeans will make me happy. (This is too specific). Rather than e.g Wearing something or popular brand will make me happy. 


The examples that really closed to me are:

Surrounded by my best friend/clique during the happy and hard time will make me happy.

Let the other people free from their suffering will make me happy.

Read the book that i love will make me happy.

Do the thing that i liked the most, surely will make me happy.



So, how about yours?

Gay-less

Sorry. This topic is not too gay. It just my opinion that i need to express or maybe as question keep bouncing in my mind. 

This is the term that i created by myself. To explain the condition which someone or anybody which specifically male enduring the homophile symptom but not too obviously seen but can be applied as because he has the feeling towards the same sex. 

To have this kind of "disease" (sorry if that offended you), is kind of the miserable thing that i could have. Live in the normal world where you should get together with other different sex. e.g female is just too hard to get in.

I'm not the one who want this. It sounded cliche. Ya, that i know but can you choose the feeling of your sexual desire when you start at adolescent stage? Without any gay influence and pressure? or maybe without the tragedy that shift you to that (homosexs). It sounded silly but its true, have a feeling towards male since child is the disastrous thing or the last thing i prefer. But who cares? The normal peoples tend to blame us without even care the factors or even give a damn solutions. So, who will give you support? Maybe the one who has repented and show you the ways.

I will write later how about gay can be claim as disease or weakness for a person. But that just my 2 cents. That the way i aspects from this kind of weirdo.


Back to the topic. Is being the gay-less:  not homosexual activity, not have a gay life style, not having the hard core gay friend, not even try to seduced the straight guy but have the feeling to the same sex is morally wrong? Can you simply blame me, hating me or discriminate me just because i have that feeling that naturally appeared?


Sorry. i know the religion has give the orders. But how the other peoples will understand this?


I let you to comment.

Same


"The same way I follow, may lead me the same result"


So, by doing the same technique, the same methods which give me the same failure and disappointment, i will  not go anywhere.


I just feeling down. Sorry if you feel terrible by reading this journals, which almost give a story about my disappointed life. Sorry. But this is only the ways i could express my feeling, my disappointment, then after that i feel a bit o.k and get on with my pathetic life.


Today, the same things happened. cannot tell anyone even the trusted one, wanna handle this problem by myself as i thing that would be the adult should do.Seriously, i fell awkward to ask some guide or solution from the friends of mine even the marries mine. Oh, that totally a disaster. They maybe have their own problems to and the last thing friend ask me is " Why?do you have a problem AGAIN?" 


Nah. So even a friend of mine will think that what way that i gonna find her if i have a very deep problems. 


Then, i decided not to seek her her or anyone help. My sibling? not even a less. At least until now.  


So, what i'm gonna do now? 


just take an action? Maybe?

Jun 12, 2012

Failed and Plan


" Your failed to plan, you planned to fail"!

As simple as that but the truth  of the above statement will you feel, when you experienced it.

I had to admit. I`m endure it now.

Giloss!